Star Wars: Episode 7: The Force Awakens

I don't even know if I should bother writing about this, but well... may as well I guess?

Star Wars: Episode 7: the Force Awakens has the distinction of being better than 50% of the previous films. And while it deserves a hearty congratulations for having achieved that much, I do think that it needed to be a bit better than that.

Don't get me wrong. It's a passable film. The action clips along at an acceptable pace, the characters are distinct enough for me to remember most of their names and there wasn't anything offensively bad about it. But that's about it. It gets a passing grade, but nothing beyond that. Honestly, I don't think I'll remember anything beyond the major plot points one week from today.

So before I inevitably forget about this thing, let's talk about it.

The perspective I'm writing from is that of a former fan. In my middle school years, I was all about Star Wars and I read every single Extended Universe book I could get my hands on, even the ones by Kevin J. Anderson. That enthusiasm was beaten to the ground by the Prequels. I liked Knights of the Old Republic 1, but generally speaking I haven't cared about Star Wars in some time, even though I still happen to know a fuckload of stuff about that universe.

So why didn't this movie win me back into the fold? Let's see...

Spoilers ahead, I guess.

1) Shoddy writing.

I think this is the first JJ Abrams product I've actually watched so I can't really compare this to his other works, but I had trouble swallowing the motivations and actions of some of the characters. I'm going to focus mainly on the Storm Trooper deserter, Finn.

Finn here deserts the First Order because he realizes that the Empire is cartoonishly evil and decides that Killing Is Wrong. In order to escape from the Empire, he proceeds to shoot up a hangar bay full of his former comrades, seemingly killing about 30 or 40. So errr... this individual in the military got upset about the direction his government was taking and decided to go ahead and murder a bunch of his colleagues. So... does that mean our main protagonist is basically the Empire's equivalent to the Fort Hood Shooter then?

 This wouldn't be so bad if the issue were raised or acknowledged somehow, but it's not. Bad guys called Finn a traitor later on, but he is all too happy to just go ahead and shoot or stab them. Never once is the idea that one of these other Storm Troopers might also be closet dissenters or other people who were conscripted away from their families at a young age just like he was. Finn just kills them.

Why make him a Storm Trooper in the first place if these issues weren't going to be dealt with? Why give him that back story if it wasn't going to affect his character development at all? I think this Abrams guy just liked the visual of the Storm Trooper deserter, but really just did not adequately think it through.

2) Shoddy dialogue.

If I were to describe the dialogue in this film it would probably be something along the lines of "Badly Written Joss Whedon". Everyone is trying to be snappy and clever, but no one is saying anything worth remembering. While sometimes a line hit home ("That's not how the Force works"), the movie is filled with awkward garbage lines about boyfriends and fixing compressors.


At one point in the film, Finn is watching an X-Wing blowing up TIE Fighters from the ground (ignoring the fight all around him) and gasps: "Wow, what a great pilot!" on behalf of the audience. The fact that the guy is blowing away six TIEs in 5 seconds already is showing that, but I guess Captain Obvious needed to make sure the audience was making the right conclusions here.

3) Not giving a fuck.

There are certain details about this universe that I could tell you, even though I haven't really thought about it for a solid decade.

For instance, there's a scene where Finn and the pilot guy escape in a TIE fighter. While in said TIE, they don't wear space helmets and are able to breathe. But TIE Fighters aren't supposed to have life support. That's why their pilots wear those bulky black outfits. Because they'd suffocate without them.

"Well maybe they got air after twenty years," you say. Except that the other TIE pilots we see in the movie are still wearing the black fighter outfit that they were wearing in the original films. Why are they still in bulky space helmets with very distinct oxygen tubes if they've got atmosphere inside of their fighters? Wouldn't they wear the grey uniforms, like their colleagues on the Star Destroyers? Why give them atmosphere in the fighter if they aren't going to use it? And no, if it were a special TIE then they should have fucking said it was a special TIE. Or just hijacked a shuttle instead. Shuttles have air.

You may think this is quibbling and nitpicking, but this is the thing: Getting this shit right is a sign of love and care for the setting. It's a sign of attention being paid to detail. If Abrams can't give enough of a shit about the Star Wars universe to offer an explanation as to why that TIE fighter had life support, then why should I give a shit about the Star Wars universe either?

So the conclusion:

What this movie is is a cash-in sequel designed to rake as much money out of its name as possible.

Does that mean it was a bad movie? No. Again, it's passable. But I nevertheless left the movie feeling quite thankful that I've stayed well-clear of whatever the hell this man did to Star Trek. There's more ...

Harry Potter, Medium Swapping and Continuity

So this is sort of bothering me, and so I will sound off on it here.

Today Harry Potter and the Cursed Child had its cast announced. Here they are:

So beyond the Ron with hair that is distinctly not red, you've got yourself a black Hermione who apparently did not magically fix her teeth in her teen years.  My first reaction to this was a definitive: "Huh?" This bothered me a lot more than I thought it would and, after much reflection, I think I've determined the reason why: The stage is a visual medium and JK Rowling is slapping her fan base in the face by insisting on making her sequel on it.

Stick with me and I'll take you through my reasoning. 

First, let me talk about why I think this matters.

For an established character, the image and feel of a character counts. For instance: Jean-Luc Picard is bald. If (God forbid) a 'sequel to the Next Generation' series were pitched featuring Picard with a full head of hair, then I would feel quite justified in screaming bloody murder. Once a character is established to look a certain way in a certain continuity, then you've gotta stick with it. If you put Fabio in Picard's shoes then I don't feel comfortable or respected as a fan in the setting.

Now the question of race and superheroes has been popular in the media lately. I hear a lot about the idea of a black James Bond or Spider Man for instance. And you know, I'm not against either idea. Just make them in their own continuity. I mean, fuck, you're resetting Spider Man every two fucking movies anyhow, so why not give it a try? And hell, don't those kinds of movies shift continuity every time they change their lead actor anyhow? 

But in any case, the point I'm trying to make here is this: I would not care about this issue if the above Hermione were in an alternate universe adaptation of Harry Potter. The distinction I draw is that this is a Hermione who's supposed to be in a direct sequel to the books.

Anyhow, so now let's get the author's position:

This makes sense to me. I actually avoid racial descriptors when I describe a characters too, which I've observed has resulted in arguments in what people think a given character actually looks like. I think some degree of ambiguity in that regard is sort of necessary, particularly in a book where we're expected to relate to and invest in certain characters. I get that.

For me it goes like this though: I open Chamber of Secrets and read: "Hermione snatched the timetable back, flushing intensely." (75) All human beings have the blushing reaction, but for what should be obvious reasons it's not very distinctive on a person with some colour on their face already. You can't tell when a dark skinned person is blushing as easily as you can a pale person. Hence why I always pictured the gal as being white.


"But that's just your perspective and it's subjective," I hear you say. And well yeah, of course it is. The Hermione in my head is indeed a white girl, but if she's black in yours then that's your prerogative. I don't think it would effect our mutual enjoyments of the books.

But that's the thing, isn't it? This isn't a book. It's a play. A horrendously expensive and inaccessible play that a pauper like me can never hope to see on stage, but nevertheless: a visual medium. We aren't in the Theatre of the Mind any more, we're in real space. The "you can picture whatever Hermione you want" argument breaks down because for this play, which is billed as a sequel to the Harry Potter books,  there is now just one Hermione. The one on stage. And the lady they're putting on stage looks absolutely nothing like the Hermione I've imagined.

"Wait a second," I hear you say, "Why should your white Hermione take precedence over my black one?" And you're right, I can't give you an objective reason why that should be. But note: the argument works both ways. Before everyone would read the books and make their own world. When the movies came out, mileage varied. Many people (including me) thought Emma Watson was a bit too pretty to be Hermione for instance. And for me, Kingsley is always going to be a Samuel L. Jackson type figure. But nevertheless: Previously, what was a point of contention like that could always be resolved with the words 'but well, in the books we can make our own sense of it'.

But now there is no book. There's just a play. (And hopefully a script that they'll eventually publish for us poor commoners)

And that brings me to a fundamental conclusion about all of this: Making the sequel to a fabulous series of books into a London-only stage production is a huge disservice to the fans. It's whimsical on the part of the author, it's anti-democratic and it flies in the face of the magic that the Harry Potter books really allowed the reader to do within its pages.

JK Rowling can do whatever she wants, of course. But you can't do a medium swap like this and not expect to irk people like me. There's more ...

Career of Evil

JK Rowling's "Comoran Strike" series doesn't really get as much attention as it deserves.

Part of this is probably because there's no magic, dragons or Hermione in them. Another reason is probably because it's in a niche genre that not many people pay much attention to (gritty crime fiction set in London). And the fact that the crimes so far have generally focused on the fucked up crimes of a bunch of grotesque perverts probably doesn't help things.

And you know, I get that to some extent. The sense of wonder that the Harry Potter books fostered is not something that these books, by their very design, will ever be able to reproduce. That turns a lot of people off and I can thus understand why these things aren't flying off the shelves the way Potter did.

But still, that doesn't change the fact that the Strike books represent some of JKR's strongest writings to date. Career of Evil in particular is extremely well plotted, with a character arc seamlessly integrated into a three-pronged mystery that unfolds beautifully. It's gruesome, particularly the short chapters told from the murderer's perspective, but it all still ties together spectacularly.

So let's go ahead and discuss Career of Evil and its primary features. Spoilers ahead.

1) Robin x Strike

 Robin probably has the biggest role in this book so far. The partnership with Strike is cemented at this point, as is her taking an active role in the investigative parts of the business. The relationship between Strike and Robin has been carefully and artfully plotted out in ways that the Harry Potter romances (fuck off Ginny) never were.There's a steady and gradual shift in emotions between the two of them that drifts towards a romance, but never seems to make it there.

Rowling here I feel is showing how she's completely in command of her audience. As readers, we're made to very badly want Strike/Robin to happen. But the unwavering reality of the situation is that them getting together would be a tad ridiculous. You can't imagine a functioning detective agency where the lead detective is dating his partner.

By keeping them on that razor line between professionalism and following their hearts makes the relationship develop slowly but surely, with self-denial on both sides. They clearly have feelings for one another, but they can't act on said feelings for some very solid and realistic reasons. The blindness Robin shows when she goes back to Matthew (fuck off Matthew) is that much more frustrating for the reader because we know that.

I don't think Strike will so much as kiss Robin until Book 6 or 7, but the inevitable pay off will be incredibly sweet. The readers are made to be hungry for it and by the time it happens it'll be a breath of fresh air. That's really just brilliant writing and Rowling deserves to be commended for it.

Now if only she'd done as good a job with relationships back during the Potter days...

2) JK Rowling knows how to keep a mystery going.

Career is great because the three primary suspects are laid out before us right from the get-go and builds a case against all of them in equal measure without giving matters away. She even gives us those murderer-perspective chapters and somehow manages to not give away the game.

From the get-go, I wasn't thinking Brockbank could be it. I mean, the guy is a pedophile and there was no mention of the murderer guy taking a moment to molest a little girl in his murderer chapters. I went back and forth between Laing and Whittaker for most of the novel, mainly leaning towards Whittaker until Robin got herself knifed.

I completely did not see the Fireman thing coming. It seems obvious in retrospect, but of course all of JKR's books have that quality.

Well played, Ms. Rowling.

3) JK Rowling really likes exploring grotesque and dark stuff.

All three of the suspects in this series are loathsome misogynistic perverts that deserve to be put down. A child molester, a wife beater and a... however the fuck a person would describe Whittaker. This paints a picture of a world filled with horrific people lurking in the shadows waiting for the opportunity to knife someone for some scarcely understandable reason. It certainly doesn't make me want to visit London any time soon.

Nevertheless, we do seem to see in JKR a woman who doesn't seem to have an overwhelming amount of faith in humanity. In the HP books, the majority of Wizards end up kowtowing to the Voldemort-controlled ministry. It boils down to a handful of good people having to fix everything. In the Casual Vacancy, meanwhile, you had no good people whatsoever. Just assholes and their victims.

In Strike's world, it really seems like everyone but Robin and Strike are living in blissful ignorance and that the police are proud fools. The average human being, at least in Rowling's telling, really is a bit of an incompetent and selfish jackass.

And you know, I find that kind of interesting.





Anyhow! Overall impression: Superb book. Looking forward to the next one, Ms. Rowling.

There's more ...

Persona Q - Shadow of the Labyrinth

 So Persona Q is a crossover game that involves the Persona 3 and Persona 4 casts meeting up with each other in a strange nether dimension (filled with labyrinths). I bought this back in December, expecting just a fan servicey non-story that would be good for a couple of hours of smiles and inside jokes before everyone packed up and went home.

What I did not expect from the thing was a story driven 73 hour RPG epic that would take me about 6 months to get through. From beginning to end, Persona Q surprised me. It surprised me with the surprisingly depth of character customization. It surprised me with its simple but compelling story. It even surprised me with how much character development the cast got. And even after having beat it, I'm still surprised that this thing exists.


Which I guess is a fancy way of saying that I thought PQ was in fact quite good (with some caveats).

Let's talk about why that might be...

1) Character exploration.

At the beginning of the game, you get to pick whether you want the story to focus on the Persona 3 side or the Persona 4 side of things. I've played both games, but needless to say I picked P4 because its cast is vastly superior. For those curious, if you've only played P4 then I don't think that'll really affect your enjoyment of the game. Prior knowledge of who the P3 people are is not required.

At first, it was what I expected from the game... Chie talked about how much she likes meat, Yukiko did her stupid laugh, Kanji talked about manliness and all that stuff. But as things progressed, I was surprised to see that the game actually meant to set out to explore the personalities and relationships of each of the characters.  I got to flirt with my long standing girlfriend Rise and even have a funny/surprisingly heart-jolting fantasy wedding with her.

But the primary beneficiary of this is none other than...

Naoto joined late in P4 and thus didn't get to shine as much as everyone else as a consequence.  I was thus really happy to see that she's basically your chief adviser here. Throughout the game, her insecurities about her gender identity are discussed and why it is she felt the need to pose as a man. The character of Naoto is often criticized by the SJW games media for not rejecting gender reassignment therapy and even would go on dates with men. People that make that criticism fail to realize that the reason she was putting on that act at all wasn't because of discomfort with her physical body, but rather a feeling that she couldn't do what she wanted to do as a woman. That her gender handicapped her ability to pursue her dreams.

Anyhow, in PQ we start to see her come to terms with that and she starts to decide that maybe she can be who she wants to be in spite of her gender. Those scenes were great to read and really enhanced this most unique character.

The game also ships Naoto and Kanji as a couple really bloody hard. I thought it would be more neutral, but for a fair chunk of the story they seemed like two steps from just running into an empty classroom and having their ways with one another. Though I won't complain, I've always really liked that couple.

I especially liked their battle quotes to each other. "Kanji-kun! Are you alright?" "Yeah... why? Worried?"

2) Gameplay.

This game is sort of insane in that you have 19 playable characters (10 from Persona 3, 8 from Persona 4 and 1 new guy), all with unique equipment load outs and skills that you can customize with Sub Personas that give health and SP bonuses. They've also made it so certain characters are ranged while others are melee, just to make things more complicated. While you can only have five people in your party at once, the game encourages you to swap between them by making healing cost an arm and a leg (at least for the first few dungeons) and having certain subquests require the presence of specific characters.

This thus ain't no casual affair. The dungeons are as brutal as they always are and having a well balanced team is key to success. And you know what? I like that. Hook me in with great characters and then challenge me with brutal fights. More games need to give the player more credit where credit is due.

Word to the wise though...

Naoto is pretty overpowered. Give her a Sub Persona that gives her a big mana boost and start every fight with those Light/Dark insta-kill AoE spells (Mahamoan and Mamudoon I think they're called). For a large number of random encounters, Naoto can pretty much kill everyone by herself in one spell.

I think one of the devs really likes Naoto.

3) Puzzles.

The weakest element of the game is probably in its puzzles. They aren't overwhelming most of the time, but they are really complicated. If you're like me and usually only use your 3DS when you're in the bus or suffering from insomnia, then you're going to find that remembering what the puzzle you were doing after taking a break for a day or so is pretty disorienting. This is only made worse by the fact that you can still be slammed with random encounters while trying to figure something out.


To make matters worse, most of the puzzles in the game involve super monsters called 'FOEs'. These are generally boss monsters that are easily strong enough to wipe your party out if you don't run away. Generally speaking, you're supposed to just avoid walking into one and you're fine, but unfortunately the puzzles are all of the 'do this wrong and you an FOE will take you anally' variety.

That said, if an area really gives you trouble you can man up and jump the FOE intentionally to try to kill it and simplify matters. But given that they are incredibly powerful, this will only get you so far.

On one hand, I again appreciate that the game respects me enough to make things this hard, but I'd be lying if I said that some of the puzzles didn't get on my nerves after a while.

There was one interesting occasion where I was presented with a puzzle so obscure and so complicated that I had absolutely no idea how to go about solving it when, much to my surprise, Naoto figured it out and told me exactly what to do, step-by-step

I've gotta wonder... did it happen that way because the devs looked at the puzzle afterwards and realized that no one could ever solve it or did they design it that way to just show us once again how much they love Naoto?

Either option is possible!

All in all: If you're like me and are probably going to get a PS4 when Persona 5 comes out (please give us a sub option, Atlus ;_;) then this is a game you may enjoy. Go get it. There's more ...